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In a Crowded Lift
In a shopping mall
On the First Day of Class
At a Fast Food Restaurant
During an Exam
At Work
At the Movies
In a Bolwing Alley
On your Driving Test
In the bathroom stall
On a Beach
At a Tennis Match
On Holiday
On an Airplane
What NOT to say to a Police Officer
Things You DO NOT wanna Hear During Surgery
How to Relieve Boredom Part 2
Which Will Drive your Parents Crazy
Things to learn before I die
Things to do in a Boring Lecture
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Area 51 New Mexico Established August 18 2001. © Copyright H.E. Bedford. All Rights Reserved.
Things to do at the Beach
All ideas on this page were emailed to me by Frances.
1. Re-enact the D-Day landings.
2. Build a sandcastle and stand guard next to it, every hour, do the 'changing of the guard' throwing in the occasional "HALT, WHO GOES, THERE?!?!?"
3. Go in to the sea with a lilo and about half an hour later, climb out looking disorientated and say loudly in an Australian accent " CRIKEY COBBER'S, I WAS AT BONZAI BEACH AN HOUR AGO!! MUSTA FALLEN ASLEEP ON ME LILO!!"
4. (An old, but still funny one!) Whilst in the sea, start thrashing about and scream "SHARKS!!!" . Ten minutes later, do it again.
5. (Affective if you're a man). Wear a tight, red swimming costume and run in slow motion in the style of Baywatch, whilst running, flick your hair in an appealing manner.
6. Wear a Penguin costume, climb out the sea puffing and panting, look around and say loudly " OH CRAP! TOOK A WRONG TURNING SOMEWHERE!" go back in to the sea and start swimming away.
7. Bury a hose with water spraying upwards, Tell everyone you dug down to deep and now the beach is sinking.
8. Stagger up the beach in old ripped clothes clutching a matchstick and tell everyone that this is all that is left of your ship.
9. Follow the tide when it leaves and find out where it goes.
10. Practice your ostrich impressions.
11. With some friends, sit in a dinghy wearing German army uniforms, paddle along the shore line and announce" VE TOOK ZE WRONG TURNING, I OPE ZAT VE ARE NOT TOO LATE".
12. with a friend, sing Summer Lovin' in pure Grease style.
13. Dig a hole in the sand and hide in it, when the beach is full, climb out and wearing a prisoners uniform and say "OH, THIS IS'NT MEXICO!!", look back down the hole and say" GO BACK LADS, WE SHOULD HAVE GONE LEFT INSTEAD OF RIGHT!"
14. Have a pebble fight.
15. As the coastguard goes by with his siren on, run along after it happily shouting "ICECREAM MAN! ICECREAM MAN!"
16. Pretend to be a crab, go ahead and nip people.
17. Wear a pirates costume, get someone to dig a hole and say "ARGH ME MATEY'S, WE SHALL BURY THE TREASURE HERE!" and proceed to bury some chocolate coins.
18. Whilst using a pair of binoculars, suddenly shout" IVE FOUND IT!!, ATLANTIS HAS ARISEN!! ISNT IT BEAU......NO HOLD ON, SORRY MY MISTAKE, IT'S THE ISLE OF WHITE, SORRY!"
19. Go around and tell everyone that you have to 'Pay and Display' to use the beach, insist you are the ticket person. Charge a ridiculous amount.
20. Beforehand, place a piece of bloodied meat on the edge of the sea, later go around and ask if anyone has seen your doggie. Say he was playing in the water when you heard someone say SHARKS and you haven't seen him since.
21. Eat sand.
Area 51 was Established on August 18th 2001 © Copyright H. Bedford. All Rights Reserved.