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In a Crowded Lift
In a shopping mall
On the First Day of Class
At a Fast Food Restaurant
During an Exam
At Work
At the Movies
In a Bolwing Alley
On your Driving Test
In the bathroom stall
On a Beach
At a Tennis Match
On Holiday
On an Airplane
What NOT to say to a Police Officer
Things You DO NOT wanna Hear During Surgery
How to Relieve Boredom Part 2
Which Will Drive your Parents Crazy
Things to learn before I die
Things to do in a Boring Lecture
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Area 51 New Mexico Established August 18 2001. © Copyright H.E. Bedford. All Rights Reserved.
Things to do on Holiday
All ideas on this page were emailed to me by Frances.
1. Take and read from a phrase book of the wrong language.
2. When checking in to your hotel, claim your name is Sir Admiral Lord Vertragdensf of Russia and that you are booked in to the penthouse suite. Get annoyed and shout in Russian if they say you're not on the register.
3. When your on the beach, say in a loud voice "OH, THIS IS THE BEACH I READ ABOUT IN THE PAPER, THE SEA IS ABSOLUTLY FULL OF SHARKS, 10 PEOPLE WERE KILLED AND EATEN LAST MONTH ALONE!!"
4. When you're on a boat trip, gently start to weep as you sing Rule Britannia. Salute and stand to attention as you do so.
5. Later, go up to the front of the boat and give your best performance of Titanic (helps if you have a friend with you for this one).
6. In America - Claim to be from the past and tell everyone that George Washington used to be Georgina Washington, "I Mean, Look at the hair!!"
7. In France - Ask why there appears to be no war memorials.
8. After checking out of the hotel, leave it for about five minutes, then go back in and check in again, acting like you have just arrived for your holiday......repeat.
9. In Italy - Ask why they appear to have NEVER won the Eurovision Song Contest.
10. In Canada -Sing *Blame Canada* at the top of your voice.
11. In Australia - Try to find an intellect.......You wont.
12. When asked what you would like to eat in a restaurant, ask if they have jellied eels, "no, sorry sir"- ask if they have pie and mash, "no, Sorry Sir" -ask if they have fish and chips, "No, sorry sir"- start to sulk and say "FINE THEN,I'LL HAVE A BANNANA, YOU HEARD OF THEM?!?!?!?!
13. Bet someone you can swim home.
14. Proclaim yourself in front of people to be the Appointed Ambassador and Representative Of The United Kingdom Of Great Britain and Northern Ireland under order of Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth The Second, but tell them they can call you John.
15. Ask people whose side they would be on in the event of war. Write down their answer and say "we shall remember........"
16. If in Russia, Walk down the street and ask, "So, ya still doing the whole 'commie' thing?"
17. Run screaming through your hotel, shouting to people that you have just found a stash of weapons under your bed. See what happens.
18. Announce to reception that your 'neighbour' has not left his room for five days and there is a really bad smell around the area.
All ideas on this page were emailed to me by Frances.
Area 51 was Established on August 18th 2001 © Copyright H. Bedford. All Rights Reserved.