Links
(Too Much to Read in one go? Why not add this site to your Favourites?!)
Barbies that Never Made it
Mental Health Hotline
Why did the Chicken Cross the Road?
An All Purpose Letter of Apology
Contract of Employment
New Slang Dictionary 2004
New Slang 2005
Children of the 80's
Mind Benders
Snappy Answers
The Wonderful, mindbending English Language
Rude Greetings Cards
Celebrity Virus's
Cats Rules of Life
Figure Out Your Star Wars Name...
How moral are you? A Test...
Test you Ethics...
21 things you can only get away with saying at Christmas
Family Fortunes
Hell Freezing Over
Do you have a dirty mind?
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Area 51 New Mexico Established August 18 2001. © Copyright H.E. Bedford. All Rights Reserved.
Mental Health Hotline
Emailed to me by my Boyfriend Paul :-)
"Hello and welcome to the MENTAL HEALTH HOTLINE.
If you are suffering from Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, press 1, repeatedly.
If you are Co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
If you have Multiple Personalities, press 3, 4, 5 & 6.
If you are Paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call.
If you are Delusional, press 7, and your call will be transferred to the Mother Ship.
If you are Schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press.
If you are a Manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press ... no-one will answer.
If you are Dyslexic, press 96969696969696.
If you have a Nervous Disorder, please fidget with the hash key until a representative comes on the line.
If you have Amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, phone number, date of birth, social security number and your mother's and grandmother's maiden names.
If you have Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, slowly and carefully press 000.
If you have Bi-polar Disorder, please leave a message after the beep. Or before the beep. Or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.
If you have Short-Term Memory Loss, please try your call again later.
If you have Low Self Esteem, please hang up. All our operators are far too busy to talk to you. "
Area 51 was Established on August 18th 2001 © Copyright H. Bedford. All Rights Reserved.