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Conspiracies - Santa or Satan?
It's a worrying thought that the jolly old man who kindly delivers presents to millions of children around the world could be in fact be the Devil.
Consider the evidence:
Both use manipulation to get what they want, they just use different methods. Parents warn that if the child is not good, then they won't get any presents. Similarly, this isn't too far from religious threats that unless you do this or that you will go straight to hell.
The jolly fat man traditionally comes down the chimney. Likewise, the Red Horned Dude lives in the fiery pits of hell.
Both of their favourite colour is red.
Both employ slave labour to aid their cause. Santa has his elves, while Satan has his demons.
No one has ever been to and returned from either Hell or Santa's workshop to tell their tale.
If an ordinary person were to break into a house, creep into a child's bedroom, they would be arrested and spend a very long time in jail! Father Christmas is a persistent offender and has never been brought to justice.
Finally, just to give it all away, "Santa" is a piss-poor anagram of "Satan"!
Next Christmas you may want to brick up your fireplace and poison the mince pies.
Area 51 was Established on August 18th 2001 © Copyright H. Bedford. All Rights Reserved.