Shery Bobbins Minimum Wage Nanny Lisa: If you wish to be our sitter, Please be sweet and never bitter. Help us with math and book reports, Bart: Might I add - eat my shorts! (spoken) Lisa: Bart! Bart: Just cuttin' through the treacle. Lisa: If Maggie's fussy, dont avoid her, Bart: Let me get away with moider! Lisa: Teach us songs and magic tricks, Homer: Might I add - no fat chicks! (spoken) Marge: Homer! Lisa: The nanny we want is kindly and sage, Homer: And one who will work for minimum wage. Lisa: Hurry nanny, things are grim, (spoken) Grampa: I'll do it! Bart & Lisa: Anyone but him. Cut Every Corner Shery: If there's a task that must be done, Don't turn your tail and run, Don't pout, don't sob, Just do a half-assed job! If... you... cut every corner It is really not so bad, Everybody does it, Even mom and dad. If nobody sees it, Then nobody gets mad, Bart: It's the American way! Shery: The policeman on the beat Needs some time to rest his feet. Chief Wiggum: Fighting crime is not my cup of tea! Shary: And the clerk who runs the store Can charge a little more For meat! Apu: For meat! Shery: And milk! Apu: And milk! Both: From 1984! Shery: If... you... cut every corner, You'll have more time for play, Shary & OFF: It's the American waaaaay! A Boozehound Named Barney Shery: In front of a tavern, Flat on his face, A boozehound named Barney Is pleading his case. Barney: Buy me a beer, Two bucks a glass. Come on, help me, I'm freezing my ass. Buy me brandy, A snifter of wine. Who am I kidding? I'll drink turpentine. Moe: Move it, ya drunk, Or I'll blast your rear end. Barney: I found two bucks! Moe: Then come in, my friend! Shery: And so, let us leave On this heartwarming scene. Bart: Can I be a boozehound? Homer: Not till you're fifteen. Cut Every Corner (Reprise) Shery: If there's a job that must be done, You'll find it's much more fun... (spoken) Homer: You'll find it's even more fun if you get it for me! Shery: But the beer will taste more sweet, If you get up off your seat... (spoken) Bart: Lady, the man asked for a beer, not a song! Shery: Do-re-mi-fa-so... Happy With Things The Way They Are Homer: Around the house, I never lift a finger, As a husband and a father, I'm sub-par. I'd rather drink a beer Than win father of the year, I'm happy with things the way they are. Lisa: I'm getting used to never getting noticed, Bart: I'm stuck here till I can steal a car. Marge: The house is still a mess, And I'm going bald from stress, Bart, Marge, & Lisa: But we're happy, just the way we are. Ned: They're not perfect, But the Lord says "Love thy neighbour." Homer: Shut up, Flanders. Ned: Okely-dokely-do. Shery: Don't think it's sour grapes, But you're all a bunch of apes, And so I must be leaving you! Links to Other Simpsons Song Pages- Back to Lyrics Index - Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer - Capital City - Itchy & Scratchy Show Theme Songs - We're Sending our Love Down the Well - a Street Car Named Desire - Lurleen Lumkin - Mr Plow - Monorail - B-Sharps - See My Vest - Planet of the Apes - 22 Short Films about Springfield - The Spring in Springfield - Shery Bobbins - Other Short Songs Established August 2001 ©Copyright H. Bedford. All Rights Reserved.