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Area 51 New Mexico Established August 18 2001. © Copyright H.E. Bedford. All Rights Reserved.
How to Annoy Trick or Treaters!
Emailed by Matto
1. Give away something other than candy. (Toothpicks, golf balls, bags of sand, etc.)
2. Wait behind the door until some people come. When they get near the door, jump out, wearing a costume, and holding a bag, and yell, "Trick or Treat!" Look at them, scratch your head, and act confused.
3. Fill a briefcase with marbles and crackers. Write on it, "Top Secret" in big letters. When trick-or-treaters come, look around suspiciously, say, "It's about time you got here," give them the briefcase, and quickly shut the door.
4. Get about 30 people to wait in your living room. When trick-or-treaters come to the door, say, "Come in." When they do, have everyone yell, "Surprise!" Act like it's a surprise party.
5. Get everyone who comes to the door to come in and see if they can figure out what's wrong with your dishwasher. Insist that it makes an unnatural "whirring" sound.
6. After you give them candy, hand the trick-or-treaters a bill.
7. Open the door dressed as a giant fish. Immediately collapse, and don't move or say anything until the trick-or-treaters go away.
8. When you answer the door, hold up one candy bar, throw it out into the street, and yell, "Crawl for it!"
9. When you answer the door, look at the trick-or-treaters, act shocked and scared, and start screaming your head off. Slam the door and run around the house, screaming until they go away.
10. Insist that the trick-or-treaters each do ten push-ups before you give them any candy.
11. Hand out menus to the trick-or-treaters and let them order their candy. Keep asking if anyone wants to see the wine list.
12. Get a catapult. Sit on your porch and catapult pumpkins at anyone who comes within 50 yards of your house.
13. When people come to the door, jump out a nearby window, crashing through the glass, and run as far away from your house as you can.
14. Answer the door dressed as a pilgrim. Stare at the trick-or-treaters for a moment, pretend to be confused, and start flipping through a calendar.
15. Instead of candy, give away coloured eggs. If anyone protests, explain that the eggs are the only thing you had left over from Easter.
16. Answer the door dressed as a dentist. Angrily give the trick-or-treaters a two-hour lecture on tooth decay.
17. Answer the door with a mouthful of M & M's and several half-eaten candy bars in your hands. Act surprised, and close the door. Open it again in a few seconds, and insist that you don't have any candy.
18. Hand out cigarettes and bottles of aspirin.
19. Put a crown on a pumpkin and put the pumpkin on a throne on your porch. Insist that all of the trick-or-treaters bow before The Pumpkin.
20. Dress up like a bunny rabbit. Yell and curse from the moment you open the door, and angrily throw the candy at the trick-or-treaters. Slam the door when you're finished.
21. Wait for the knock and wait for a few minutes, then make a loud thumping noise and run to the door, opening it slowly with some coffee in your hand; shaking prefusely. Interupt their "trick or treat" with loud swearing and grabbing of the head.
22. Shout I'm coming, I'm coming, trip over and headbutt the door. Scream "fuck" and open the door, collapsing.
23. When you answer the door stand in a Christmas decorated room with Christmas hat and mistletoe above the doorway. Give out wrapped up candy then eye the mistletoe and grin mischeiviously.
24. Unscrew your door from its latches and wait for some Trick or Treaters to come up the drive. Fall onto it crashing infront of them, yelling and threatening someone inside. Promptly running back in screaming.
25. Erect a bench in your front garden and print tickets. When Trick or Treaters come hand them a ticket with a 3 digit number on it and direct them to wait at the bench until they're number is called. + After a few minutes call out "NUMBER ONE! NUMBER ONE!"
v26. Just before some kids arrive have a man run out with a sack full of objects yelling "I'm bleedin' nickin' it arn' I!" If the kids decide to continue on have someone else tell them sadly that the candy is all gone now and walk back into the house fighting back tears.
27.Set up a table right infront of your door and leave it open, when the kids come to it and push it open be wearing a dealers hat and hand out cards, with some candy on the table as chips "Wata ya got?" + Alternitively have 3 cups on the table and put some candy under one, proceeding to do the old shuffle-me-do. If they win tip the table up and run upstairs.
28. You walk up behind them with a corwbar or summin and just nudge past them, shimmy open the door and walk in closing it behind you, later to return climbing out the window with something of value. Half way down the ladder tell them casually "He ain't in. nah its ok mate, i used to live er'"
29. 'THE NINJA' Simply answer the door and when they ask, throw a smoke capsule to the floor and laugh. When it clears still be standing there and slowly close the door, eyes wide open in surprise.
30. Once again leave the door ajar, when the kids push it open reenact 'Reservoir Dogs'. Have a man on the floor cowering, his gun pointed at another man aiming his at him, both shaking. Hold the pose til the kids back away.
31. Ajar again. Kids come in to see you on rocking chair with shotgun. "Yurp...kids came earlier askin the same thin....know what i did?....thats right, shot em dead" Lean closer to them, pointing to the next room and whisper sinisterly "...Bodies in ther..."
32. Or as there com in to the door you bust out with your shirt ripped shouting "I MADE IT OUT, FUCKING CRAZY IN THERE, BLOOD ASS AND GUTS EVERYWHERE." Hold up your fist with candy lodged inside. "I GOT SOME!" Run away screaming insanely.
33. As the kids come up the drive, scream from inside "HERE'S YOUR TREAT!!" kick open the door and throw another person out, the person making the throw out to be painful and scary, running away in terror, the door slamming shut.
34. Stand outside your own house egging it, when kids come and enquire simply say "Bastard doesn't give treats" and wander back inside.
35. Get a bunch of junkees with plenty of Weed to hucker down at ur place for a while so when kids come a knocking smoke wofts out the house, answer the door staring at them like they're Jesus incarnate "SHIT....woah...woah...woaaaahhh" fall over and have someone else close the door.
36. Hang your arm out your post box lifelessly with some sweets in your hand. Wait for some kids and see if they take the bait. If they touch it suddenly spring into life gripping them by the wrist and enjoy the scream.
37. Play the "perfect neighbour". Politely answer the door and happily agree to give the kids candy. Close it for a second then come back with a bowl of it and a phone, just as you are about to give them the candy it starts ringing. You tell them to hold a second and answer it. Begin yelling and cursing madly at the person on the other end, throwing the candy away and slamming the door, still yelling behind it.
38. Establish base camp on your second floor looking out a window to the front door. Wait for some kids to come and ring the doorbell. Wait until they get pissed of or start walking away and open the window screaming disgruntledly lobbing hard candy in their general direction.
39. Get one person to stay inside and another 3 or so to hide in a bush outside in full costume. When some real kids come get your mob out with them and become friendly with. Tell them the man inside is a sinch and always gives candy. Let the mob knock and get invited in, closing the door behind them. Wailing and screeching follows, with the mob bursting out the door crying in terror "DONT FUCKING GO IN THERE, OH GOD!!" running into the night. + If the kids venture in the person stands in the dark whispering, "Come in for some Candy..."
40. The good old fashion way! Have some team of 4-6 people behind the door as it's opened to the kids, all with rocks in their hands in flinging position, see how long it takes the kids to react.
Happy Halloween!
Area 51 was Established on August 18th 2001 © Copyright H. Bedford. All Rights Reserved.